life (with kids)

That’s enough snow now…

I'm sorry for the things I said when it was winter - quote

I wrote 4 blog posts last week.

Four.

Did you read any? No. Because I never published them. They all fell under the following categories:

Post #1 ) Bitchy

Post #2) Depressing

Post # 3) Extra Depressing

Post # 4) Thank God I scheduled the next days post after midnight and it never published that morning.

While Peter De Vries, not Hemingway, may or may not have said “Write drunk, edit sober” neither lived in the time where they had access to the WordPress scheduling feature. Never ever schedule a blog post that you’ve written (I use that term loosely) after several glasses of wine. It’s worse than the Reply All button on your email.

I know. Now you’re like I really want to read that post Alex and I should admit it wasn’t terribly awful, it was just rather something that maybe was not very…um…nice. Things about the state of blogging, why Pinterest thinks it can be Facebook and how sponsored posts are… (Publish! Publish! Shut up.)

And I blame this all on winter.

See, at this point in the year, the whole it’s so pretty outside routine morphs into a deep hatred of waking up and peering out your window each morning to see what fresh hell awaits you. The pretty snowflakes that you loved in December have turned themselves into a cocaine and alcohol fueled frat party that won’t stop. You walk outside and they’re all over your car and your driveway and you yell at them “Stop you’re ruining my life and get off my lawn!” and they just laugh and say “Your snow tires are never coming off bitch, learn to love it!”

Then there’s the kid issue. If you’re a parent you get an extra special layer of stir crazy hell. Winter activities for kids seem like your magical unicorns that you need to get you through this mess. But they did not account for this thing called -40 windchill. We walked for less than 2 minutes from the truck to the mall this past week and I swear I was going to buy everyone ski goggles to wear outside for the remainder of this season. You don’t know cold until you feel dry eyes so bad that the Visine stops working. Suggestions to fixing dry eyes include blinking more by the way. Is this a trick? I am seconds away from my eyelids freezing.

So your kids that can’t spend time outside are therefore stuck inside wreaking havoc on your house thus preventing you from getting anything done. It’s like an endless chorus of Stewie Griffin’s Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mommy, Mummy speech. I am not even lying when I say that every single day, the first time I get to really sit down after catering to everyone’s else’s issues and the never ending chores is at least 10 pm. That leaves me with a good 1 hour left to myself where I can have a glass of wine and pass the hell out of sheer exhaustion from all the snow shoveling.

See this? This is the shallow end of my back deck. First step in and you can’t see my BOGS boots.

BOGS in the snow

And as much as Empire Strikes Back is one of my favourite movies, at some point even they got tired of the planet Hoth. Luke knew where it was at and left for Dagobah system. Plant life FTW.

Even my R2D2 coffee mug is silently crying.

R2D2 Mug

I not surprisingly had to take an interlude from writing this to go shovel the driveway and clear the cars of all the snow – for the second time in 2 hours. The only real bright side to this snow is that all the glare from it makes everything brighter thus helping bloggers shoot their blog pictures more easily in daylight savings time. The catch is everyone is stressed out, tired and drying their socks over a heating vent with no inclination or time to craft/DIY/avoid writing blog posts without swear words as to not offend future sponsorship opportunities.

PS – if you want a great blog with swear words, my fellow blogger Heather just introduced me to Thug Kitchen. Hello? Where has this been all my life? You know I am bordering crazy when I actually enjoy cooking and have been on a homemade soup making bender (just don’t expect any photos of my soups, that is like a whole other level of artistry I have not mastered).

So if some of the east coast bloggers you enjoy reading are kind of missing in action right now, it’s because we’ve all started to feel like the people in Boston who have all but had their patience ripped from their shovels. The photos of the lawn chairs and beer bribery to hold a parking spot, as a former downtown Toronto dweller, I tip my hat to you because I so understand your street parking struggle.

But if in the end, we do inevitably write some posts and share some projects, we cannot be held accountable for the things we say in the winter. Deal?

16 Comments

  • Reply
    Bets
    February 21, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Deal!

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 9:46 am

      Deal it is! 🙂

  • Reply
    Heather (@HomeToHeather)
    February 21, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    Thanks for the hat tip! Winter is pretty sucky eh? I’m ready for it to blow over even though we’ve had the best winter ever here in Calgary.

    ps. We just bought that R2D2 mug this weekend. He’s pretty cute, even if he can’t take the snow away.

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:22 am

      For us it’s not even the snow as much as the windchill. For the past 2 months I think our kids have had outdoor recess once. It’s been indoor all the time and every one is going stir crazy!

  • Reply
    Annabode
    February 22, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    Hahaha I loved this post! And I feel your pain. Stay strong, spring will come. (Eventually.) 😉

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:23 am

      I saw sunlight coming out the window today and for a second almost forgot it was February. Then no, the snow was still there. LOL

  • Reply
    Amy Anderson
    February 22, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    I want your R2D2 mug! I’m so sorry you have so much snow. Come to Atlanta and visit. I’m wearing flip flops right now! However, in the summer, I get so mad. I hate heat and humidity and want to cry.

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:26 am

      My husband got me the R2D2 mug. If you like that you should see my phone case. 🙂

      We love Atlanta! My husband’s Aunt and Uncle live there and we just spent a week in September house sitting for them. Though your summers are very different climate wise from ours. There is no joking around that type of heat.

  • Reply
    Tara
    February 23, 2015 at 1:57 am

    Oh… that’s a lot of winter and snow to deal with.

    I’m one of those cheerleaders who would say, “Press publish on those posts!” Mostly because I love good gossip and swear words and would probably relish in your post.

    But I understand why you un-scheduled it too.

    Hopefully everything will thaw soon. March is knocking on our screen doors – it will come. The sun will come too.

    Until then, gah… fill that R2D2 mug with wine. 😉

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:30 am

      I’ll bring you a mug if I can come hang out with you in BC and wear flip flops starting now…

  • Reply
    Meagan
    February 23, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Ha. This will soon be behind us….

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:31 am

      Soon it will be gardening season and life will be better again. 🙂

  • Reply
    Sid
    February 23, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Oh, I love love love that winter quote. I’m from the west coast but living in Ottawa for the last 10 years. I promised this was the year I was going to stop complaining about winter. And then I saw my brother’s Instagram where he’s wearing a t-shirt on walk to look at the flowers blooming in Victoria. So. Much. Bitterness.

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:33 am

      LOL!! So much bitterness. That’s too good. For me it’s not the snow, it’s the windchill. That deep feel it in your bones cold that ruins all the fun outdoor stuff. Living in Ottawa I tip my hat to you. I’ve said this before but Ottawa is unreal during winter.

  • Reply
    Heather @ interiorgroupie
    February 23, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    Ha!! I agree with everything that you have said in this post…ditto.

    • Reply
      Alex
      February 28, 2015 at 10:36 am

      There is sunlight out today as I am writing this. I am like maybe we need to use the force to melt the snow. Alas I’d need a Vader mug for that one.

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